Stream of Consciousness

It has been almost 6 months since I’ve written here. I apologize to all of my readers that I have been away so long, but in the past 6 months I have undergone one of the most challenging periods of my life thus far. This post isn’t your typical Grassroots Gourmet organic food diatribe, but rather, a therapeutic stream of consciousness exercise that I need to clear my mind. I hope you’ll be able to follow….

For the past 2 years I’ve felt like a woman without a home base. I live in a country where my legal status is questionable, in an apartment that isn’t my own, constantly feeling blockaded by matters of the heart and mind. What is this anxiety that I’ve allowed to rule my every action? I am allowing the very foundation of my personality to succumb to the erosion of my external circumstance. In situations such as this we so desperately seek a balance, but it’s difficult to find under such immense pressure.

I now understand how all the illegal aliens of the United States feel, part of a group, a nation, but always alienated by the mind-rotting thought of being torn away from the small empire upon which they have constructed their lives.

A most important question arises, where do we go from here? Is there a point that we must decide that the lives we lead will no longer result in positive outcomes, a point where we realize that no matter how hard we try to make things work, ultimately the structure will crumble like cliffs into the sea.

Here I am, I offer myself entirely to fate, as it is this belief, this element of hope that allows humanity push on in times of difficulty, in times of strife. The human mind is strong, but when one reaches the tipping point, the question we must ask ourselves is “will we persevere, or will we breathe in the water of a strong tide and let it sweep us away?”

Life pushes on, whether we like it or not. We cannot stop time, but simply float along with this design that is much more complicated than our comprehension. We have two options, to latch on to this intricate web we call society, or simply let go and fade away.

A saving grace can be found in pursuing passion. In finding something you love and putting every ounce of energy (both negative and positive) into maintaining this element of our individualism. It isn’t always easy, but it is much better than any medication.

When I write I allow the blank page to consume my thoughts entirely. Every word I write is direct proof of progress, a creation all my own that delivers direct satisfaction of the endeavours of my persona.

What is your passion? Take a moment to think about it, to really immerse yourself in the thoughts and activities that allow to emboss your existence in the rhythm of life.

This is my legacy. What’s yours?

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4 thoughts on “Stream of Consciousness

  1. When I graduated from my school, my professor told us a famous quotation from Mother Teresa: “…What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway…The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” If you do know what’s your passion, please follow your intuition and exhaust yourself for that until the last minute of your life…There might be boundaries existing geographically or timely, but not for our heart…

  2. As I started watching Euro 2012 online, I remembered doing the same with WC2010, and the conversations on the site that came with it. I always enjoyed your enthusiasm and insight on the game, and life in general. I hope hope things have worked out for you, and that you are in a better place in your life.

    • I am honored that you thought of me. I watched the entire tournament… the Italy loss was a sad one, painful to watch Gli Azzurri crying on the pitch. Either way, they came through to impress fans at their creative and innovative ball play, and in the end they put on a good show. Thanks for continuing to read. I am starting up the site again.

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